Listening: Villa-Lobos (Orquestral Works)
Reading: O Alienista (Machado de Assis)
Drinking: Cheap Wine
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Today is 2005 and it started all wrong. It started with something i said I wouldn't do, but was the first thing I did. And it didn't started good, because it started with a hot temperature. And din't stared early. It's 8:25am and I was suposed to wake at 6:00am. I didn't sleep yet and I must. Only when I wake I'll start to count as a new begining. Some hours before midnight I realized that in the next four months I'll have my Quarter of a Century Anniversary (sort of a frustatrion, yes) and I dislike it plenty because it seems that the older I get the nothing I made. I fell like I haven't move any step ahead in life... I am the same person of 10 years ago. I guess. I haven't walked much... I have walked less that the size of my foot. But this year... Oh... this year... (what a classical sentense) "this year"... "this year things are going to change"... This years I will make very much less things that pleases the others and bother me. I am completely tired of being the nice one... Though I know it's good and all that, that but, it's causing loads of problems. This years I'll change the smile for an angry face and a "thank you" for "made no more than your job". I'll give people no much attention... that's killing me...
This year I will make a huge effort to move one step, ahead. I definitely have to save a certaing quantity of money... A considerable quantity and to learn French and listen the more classical music I can. I like it so...
The money thing is the most important of all. I must save enough until the end of this year. I'll have to start living with just the very basic things. Though I'm almost like this. Sometimes I'm more than like this, in fact. I'm sometimes without the basics. Which I do suggest to no one.
I have to work a lot more this years that I have never worked, but (i have already worked a lot, yes), I trully wish I had an stimulu's stone, or something this sort... in fact I have one but it shines shyly. I have failed so many times that I don't trust it any longer.
I want today to be different from yesterday, but it is still the same. This year I got to be more radical, and speak louder and be serious and say that my work is better that my neightbor's one. In a nutshell, be everything I'm not. A shown off. But, this years if I don't use the gun of hipocrisy, this years will fail, just like the others one. An my death will be unavoidable.
So, I'm going to submit a lot of website designs designs over here... That's my provisional (I hope so) main work.
I must sleep now.
Great 2005 for you
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